Two Number 9's: Top 10 Sidekicks in GTA Series
From GTA III's Claude to today's trio of Trevor, Frank, and Michael, we’ve seen GTA lead characters supported by all types of sidekicks. For years they have been entertaining us with moronic statements, bizarre actions, and even deep life philosophy. We present you Top 10 Supporting GTA Characters of all times.
10. OG Loc — I'm a Gangsta!
To this day nobody knows what happened to Jeffrey, a.k.a. OG Loc, in prison. Why was he so driven to ice his former cellmate Freddie? And what turned him into a fame-seeking egomaniac? CJ had to slaughter a bunch of innocent people and ruin Madd Dogg's career on Loc's command, to help him pursue his ambition.
Perhaps, it was his unsynchronized flow, terrible rhymes, and moronic laughter that forced 2Pac into staging his death so he could quit rapping forever. Well, that could be true in GTA's alternative reality.
9. Lazlow — I Told You Before, Don't Mock me!
A miserable wreck of a man, Lazlow has been with us in almost every GTA game. An honorary laughing stock, he always gets humiliated one way or another. A collective archetype depicting the washed up D-celebrities, Lazlow is a funny little guy with the face of an alcoholic and drug-abuser. Being super arrogant, he still needs to wear diapers: what if he meets Trevor again?
8. Ken Rosenberg — I Poke My Head Out of the Gutter for one Freakin' Second...
Inspired by Dave Kleinfield from Carlito's Way, Ken is a stereotypical mob lawyer. He rocks a sleek 80's suite and has a problem with cocaine. (The only problem is that he runs out of the powder too fast). A whiny, complaining, Jewish-comedian type character, he shows impressive loyalty to both Tommy and Carl.
7. Umberto Robina — You Got Big Cojones!
Umberto is a hella of a guy. He's drunk with passion, love, and hatred. His love goes to anyone’s big cojones. As for his hatred, it lives for his Haitian rivals and also everyone who doubts that Umberto's own cojones aren't sizeable enough. Dressed in a dirty shirt, he's quite lovable, being portrayed by Denny "Machete" Trejo.
6. Catalina — Eat My Sh*t!
GTA has proved that women with criminal talents can be as intimidating as men. Catalina has had a rich outlaw career: she started out with robbing liquor stores and ended up in a burning helicopter.
She was passionate but also intoxicated with her wild drive. A drive to bullet-riddle anyone who tried to snatch her loot. It's still a mystery how Carl Johnson managed to survive his brief romance with her: Catalina's emotions were like an erupting volcano.
5. Phil Cassidy — Son, I Could Shoot a Fly off Your Head at 80 Feet.
Pyromaniac, gun smuggler, and explosive enthusiast, Phil Cassidy plays a major role in GTA Vice City. Why? Because you can get a freaking mini-gun at his place. Without one you'll have a hard time finishing the game's final mission because: a) Mafia goons will overrun you b) Lance Vance has a filthy amount of HP c) You won't be able to recreate the final scene from Scarface with a happy ending.
4. Floyd Hebert — Sir, Are You Under the Influence?
Floyd's biography is by far the saddest in the entire series. A regular Cletus who seemingly would never get a chance to lead a better life, he actually got it one day. After relocating to Los Santos, he found an honest, steady job at the docks. He dated a very good-looking and ambitious young woman.
He thought that the grim reality of the meth-brewing hillbilly world would've never gotten to him again. Until Trevor showed up at his place... The poor soul was paralyzed with fear: he never had the guts to drive him out of his flat. Which resulted in him and his sweetheart getting brutally slaughtered. And the present to his fiancée Debora — teddy bear named Mr. Raspberry Jam — "brought joy to a lonely man," according to Trevor.
3. Lamar Davis — When You got Apache Blood, You Fly a bit Closer to the Sun.
Franklin's idiot best friend, Lamar snatches laurels of the "2d Funniest Character in GTA 5". Looking like a gangsta-caricature from the Friday movie, Lamar has a tremendous zest for life blended with enormous stupidity.
He almost purchased a brick of drywall instead of cocaine. Ballas could've slashed his 1/4 Apache body into accurate pieces at the sawmill. He wasn't scared to mock the sensitive and feminine side of Trevor. But what's even worse, he never got Employee of the Month award at Premium Deluxe Motorsport. Guess it's still to come...
2. Frank Tenpenny — How You Been, Carl? How's Your Wonderful Family?
Voiced by Samuel L. Jackson, officer Tenpenny is the most nefarious character GTA has ever seen. His elegant and calm voice combined with his corrupt, devilish personality creates an epitome of a crooked cop. He framed CJ, he murdered his honest colleague, and he has been milking crack dealers for years — something he was supposed to fight. That's why his downfall is especially enjoyable.
1. Big Smoke — All We Had to Do...
Big Smoke is the most controversial and tragic figure in GTA history. In the beginning of SA, he seems to be a chubby, funny homeboy who enjoys junk food too much. He's like a cool cousin we all wish we had.
However, this impression is misleading. Smoke turns out to be a secret genius who managed to build a grandiose drug-trafficking empire. And though he's pretty tough to beat, CJ seems to mourn his childhood friend's death. There will be no more two number 9's. O, lamentations.
The Saga Continues
Who's your favorite side character in the GTA series? Rider? Cousin Roman? MC Clip? Maurice Chavez? That nutty hippy who had Carl steal the jetpack from the military? Let us know in the comments!